Plain : sky juice!

If only i knew we'd stuck in the Suez, I wouldn't bring you to the cruise with me, If only i knew it wasn't a cruise,  I'd stop you from the first time we step in, But too bad we're doomed we did it, Now we're here stranded in between, Waiting for the tides to get high and push in,  Or fate to save us from the storm or the winds, Honestly, If I was Ever Given a choice, I wish everything just stays in my dream, 

I wish I've never fall for you. Never open my heart.  Because my first love makes me don't wanna experience any love in the future.  Because my first experience only reminds me on how unworthy i can be as a person. It hurts. And it will always hurt. I wish i can forget all the memories that we've shared. But shit, i can't.  Because you'll never get to forget every first encounter in your life.  You'll never remember how many times you've visited a place, but you'll never forget when was the first time you went to a place. You might not remember how many times you've been hospitalised, but you'll remember when was the first time you've been warded.  That's how much this memory haunts my life. 

Even when the sky comes falling Even when the sun don't shine I got faith in you and I So put your pretty little hand in mine Even when we're down to the wire baby Even when it's do or die We could do it baby, simple and plain 'Cause this love is a sure thing Remember those days when I felt nothing, and everything seemed too sudden and blurry? I don’t expect me to be carried away so bad for what was happening. Those days when I don’t feel like how I used to. I don’t know if part of me is losing, or I’m losing whole piece of me. Everything was numb. My heart. My spirit. Lucky that my brain is still functioning on track. I’ve never expected that I could break this hard. People told me that being heartbroken is hard. But they never told me that it will be this hard. Too hard that I’ve feel like giving up fighting. *** Fighting is fun. For someone who loves to go against my comfort zone, I used to find it thrilling. But I’ve never thou...

We're almost reaching 4 months.  4 bulan mungkin sikit, tapi dalam 4 bulan, ada lebih kurang 120 hari  And everyday in 120 days, I'm missing you.  Missing something that is no longer mine.  I'm fine. I'm not hurting. I was killed. 

23112019 | 23:20 Am missing my man but we're weird lately. 

Advises are good.  People give advises to help, isn't? Hence advises should be helpful. Definitely should be good. But, It is hard to swallow. Sometimes.  And i guess that this is the time, where the 'sometime' hit me well.  "Oh Allah, if he's meant to be for me, eases everything for us. If it's not, please let this feeling leaves us in ease." And, the after effect of me practicing it these days, makes me scared.   I don't know if it's a hint. I'm not sure if the result is showing. But as for now, I'm avoiding all the possible thoughts because  I'm scared.   "Takpelah kakra, if korang ada jodoh. If ada, terpisah 10 tahun jumpa balik" "So complicated. Couple dengan kitorang jelah senanggg" "Tulah, patutnya doa macam ni, Kalau dia bukan jodoh aku, tak kira! Matikanlah jodohnya. Hahahha" I don't know why my friends are like this do. Adeh.  ...

Love story, I guess that last night's dream affects me quite severely. I guess that it was a very good love story that I almost wanted to live in it. I guess that I'm going crazy. Definitely. Ever heard about that fast beating heart?  It just happened! My heart was beating so fast, SO FAST! That I almost thought that I'm gonna lose my breath some time soon but not.  Well on a side note, yes, final is approaching, But, I don't think that is the main reason over this unplanned 'band' in my heart.   Time to think. And yes, my study effort was on hold. I need to know the reason.  I need to know why am I like this. OMG help. Few minutes of thinking, "5 minit sampai" OMG that was the reason. God knows how fast the beats accelerated, how crazy I can be over this sudden rare-phenomenon. God knows.  Funny that, This is not my first time meeting him. This beating things has never happened. And  This is just a no...